


i know you want it (i’ll let you have it)

by alwaysenduphere



Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Always a Different Sex, F/F, First Time, Gender or Sex Swap, Genderswap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:07:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2548598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwaysenduphere/pseuds/alwaysenduphere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nick scoffs, wondering how many times she can say 'you're a menace, Styles' without sounding like a broken record. Instead she settles on bringing a hand to her chest in mock hurt. "Well no one asked you to be here, could've just gone home to sleep or something. Not my fault you can't keep up with your own whirlwind popstar life."</p><p>Harry just stares at Nick for a minute. "Just want it all," she finally says, cocking her head.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i know you want it (i’ll let you have it)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [biggerthanthesun](https://archiveofourown.org/users/biggerthanthesun/gifts).



> I don't understand about timelines or really how the nighttime show worked too much, so. Much handwavy. Also this is so terribly fluffy, really. Thanks to Michelle and Anna for looking it over.

It's Wednesday, the show's almost over, and Nick's been letting the songs do most of the talking for the last half hour, steady beats carrying the show. She's definitely not expecting it when Harry sneaks in halfway through M.I.A.'s Bad Girls, her head bobbing along to the beat. She’s swaying her hips a little too much and bumps into the corner of the desk by accident. The jolt knocks an ink pen and some papers to the floor, but Harry makes a ridiculous face and keeps on dancing, right until the moment she flops into Nick's lap. Nick 'oofs' and halfheartedly tries to shoo her into the next chair, but Harry makes herself dead weight and Nick knows she’s fighting a losing battle. Harry does what Harry does when Harry wants to do it, at least when she’s around Nick. It's times like these Nick wants to mention her on the radio, tell a story just to see the face Harry makes when she's embarrassed. Nick's pretty sure it takes a lot to embarrass her, though. 

The song ends as Harry's decided to climb out of Nick's lap, laughing a little as Nick tickles her in the armpit. "Thought you probably had some fancy meeting to go to, Harriet Styles," she teases once the next song starts playing.

Harry makes a pouty face and Nick wonders, not for the first time, how many people that face has actually worked on. "Why, do you not want to spend time with me, Nichola Grimshaw?"

"Wouldn't want you to miss making some important industry connection or summat," Nick says, serious.

Harry's face softens. "Not missing anything, promise. Just wanna be here with you." She pulls her jumper off and slings it over the back of the chair she’s sitting in. Nick’s pretty sure that jumper once hung in her closet. She looks smaller without it, plain black shirt clinging to her body, but somehow she looks larger all the same, like she could fill a room even if she was wearing a burlap sack, like wearing a jumper only hides what a force of reckoning she can be if given the opportunity. 

Nick smiles and says, "Alright then, assume the position," and giggles. She's totally an adult.

"Yes ma'am," Harry says back, kicking out at the desk and sending the chair she's in rolling across the studio to the corner where cameras wouldn't catch her if for some reason they turned on. There's no plans to turn them on, but they really can't be too careful, a thing of which Nick is always unfortunately conscious of. 

Harry ditches the chair and flops down on the corner bench, sending it rolling back at Nick. It hits the corner of the desk, knocking yet another pen on the floor, and she throws her head back and lets out a short barking laugh.

"You're a menace, Styles," Nick says, rolling her eyes.

The show ends not twenty minutes later. Nick chats with her producer for a few minutes about the next show, then tidies up her desk and tries to put a few things where they go, six pens and several random doodles floating around. Her knees pop when she finally stands up and heads over to Harry, and she cringes at the noise. She's glad the last of the show passed quickly, joking along at Matt about her sudden and probably fleeting love of marzipan, and she hadn't noticed that Harry had fallen asleep on the bench, head propped up against the wall.

She watches Harry sleep for just a moment.

"Hey. Tired, love?" she asks quietly, hovering a bit and remembering how Harry is when she wakes up, used to never sleeping in the same place but a bit disoriented all the same. She watches as Harry slowly opens her eyes and takes in her surroundings. She stretches her arms and legs out like a cat from a long nap, shirt riding up a bit as she sticks her arms in the air. Nick is pretty sure Harry came straight off a plane to see her, and she's so fond. 

Harry shakes her head and her hair flops around a bit, a few strands caught in her eyelashes. It's longer than it was the last time Nick saw it, still curly and wild, a little flat on the side she was sleeping on. Harry flips the strays back and tucks the rest behind an ear. "Didn't think so. Got sleep on the plane, took a pill and everything. Guess so, though." She pokes Nick in the thigh and then stands up. "Or maybe it's just that you're sooooo boring."

Nick scoffs, wondering how many times she can say 'you're a menace, Styles' without sounding like a broken record. Instead she settles on bringing a hand to her chest in mock hurt. "Well no one asked you to be here, could've just gone home to sleep or something. Not my fault you can't keep up with your own whirlwind popstar life."

Harry just stares at Nick for a minute. "Just want it all," she finally says, cocking her head.

"Yeah yeah, spoiled brat," Nick jokes back. Harry fiddles with the bottom of her shirt and Nick’s not certain, but she’s pretty sure she was supposed to say something else. She clears her throat instead. "So, you got any plans tonight then, popstar?"

Harry looks up and beams. "Just you!"

"Think you can come out for drinks then?"

"Yep," she says, popping the 'p'.

They're standing too close together and Nick can just feel the heat radiating off Harry. She feels like she's being pulled in, caught in the line and reeled to shore by it. "I think we're celebrating something, I have a vague recollection of someone telling me what for, but I don't remember. Wasn't paying attention, I know that's shocking."

"Doesn't matter, long as there's drinks and you," Harry says, poking Nick in the chest for emphasis. She's still too close. Nick's suddenly aware of how hot the studio is, how hot it always is no matter how much she complains, really.

She clears her throat and takes a step back, grabbing the raggedy bag she always carries with her to work in the process. "Well you do know how to flatter a girl."

~

Harry keeps falling into things and Nick wonders if maybe they should stop drinking. All Nick's friends and coworkers have disappeared to the dance floor or some corner or another and she hasn't seen any of them in what feels like ages, though Nick thinks realistically its maybe been about twenty minutes. Harry keeps smiling at everyone and telling terrible jokes to anyone who wants to listen. Nick finds it all very endearing but she also hasn't seen Harry in a week and wants all of Harry's attention on her and her alone. 

Just as Nick's decided she’s' gonna stand up and leave the booth to go find Harry, Harry stumbles her way back alone, frowning and looking a little bewildered as she flops down on the seat next to Nick. "I think I might be more drunk than I intended to become," she says.

"Dunno whatever gave you that idea, love," Nick mumbles, drawn to the way Harry's mouth moves. Harry seemingly speaks faster when she's drunk and Nick forgets how strange it is sometimes. Nick’s a fast talker at the best of times, but alcohol always makes her trip over her own tongue. 

"Don't suppose I could get a ride home?"

Nick's also far more intoxicated than she originally planned to be, though still seemingly more sober than Harry. A glimpse of Harry Styles vomming over a toilet all alone pops into Nick's head. That's clearly not happening tonight. "How about we share a cab back to my place, does that work?"

Harry beams. "Your place. Yes. That'd be lovely," she says, knocking back the rest of a fruity-looking concoction just sitting on the table. Nick think it might've been hers at some point, but like. Hours ago. And it may not have been. Could be a stranger's drink, for all she knows, really. "Gross, Styles."

It takes them awhile longer to actually work their way to the door, Nick stopping to say goodbye to far too many people, some she knows and some she doesn’t, and Harry's curious to meet all the new people she can, happy to talk to anyone and too polite even when she doesn't want to talk. They even end up pulled back out onto the dance floor at one point, grinding against each other as the bass beats around them, lost in it. Nick spares a thought to if anyone's noticed who they are, who Harry is, before deciding it’s past the time to care who takes pictures. She hopes Harry doesn't care either.

She’s driving Nick mad, smiling through her curtain of hair, her movements languid and carefree. Eventually Nick just goes for it, slides her hand up Harry's cheek slowly, sways back and forth with her, and Harry just smiles wider and wilder, leans in to initiate the kiss first.

Harry kisses a bit like she speaks, slow and soft at first, like she's re-living a half-remembered dream and she has to conjure up and save every last detail, growing more frantic once she has the full story. Nick gets lost in it. 

~

The cab ride home is quiet. For a minute Nick thinks Harry's fallen asleep again, head propped up against the window, fogging it up a little bit with every breath. Her legs are folded up under her, and Nick's always wondered how Harry contorts her body, long limbs bending in a way Nick’s never have. She looks soft like this, even younger than she actually is, and it tugs at Nick's heart in a way she’s not yet ready to think too much about. She doesn't think about the age difference so much, except when people explicitly point it out, but oftentimes she finds herself feeling protective of Harry, like she could just whisk her away from the rest of the world and bottle up that charm for herself. It's ridiculous, but she can’t stop herself.

"You're staring," Harry says into the quiet, startling Nick. Her head lolls over like a rag doll to face Nick, and she slowly grins up, clearly realizing she's surprised her.

"Just wondering how your neck's gonna fair if you keep falling asleep like that."

"M'not asleep."

"Clearly you're not asleep now, since we're speaking." Nick pauses. "Though now that you mention it, I do recall carrying on a conversation with you when you were asleep once."

"No, you didn't."

It was a short conversation, Harry in the middle of the night sprawled out on Nick's bed, suddenly shouting 'Niall, meat tenderizer!' waking Nick up in the process. Nick had rolled over and said 'What's that love?' and Harry had just mumbled 'nothing.' Nick had fallen back to sleep and forgotten about it. "I did, and I'm never telling you what you said." 

Harry huffs and goes back to looking out the window.

It's cold when they step out of the cab, keeping a respectable distance in case anyone's around to see. Nick's a little afraid Harry's gonna fall, wants to grab her by the wrist and guide her. Instead she settles for futilely putting her hands out when Harry stumbles like she'll be able to catch her. More like Harry will pull them both down together, and wouldn't that just be a sight to see.

"Did I say something bad?" Harry says, shoulders hunched as Nick's trying to get the key in the door, and Nick just 'hmms' and says nothing else until they get into her flat. Sometimes it's fun to wind Harry up, though Nick thinks sometimes she could be a little nicer about it. It's just that when Harry frowns she looks five years old and Nick can't help find it pretty adorable. 

"Niiiiiiiiick. Tell me," Harry whines, flopping down onto the couch, shoes and all. Normally Nick's not too keen about shoes on her _white_ couch, but Harry Styles is the exception to every rule in her life, she's growing to learn. 

"I think you're drunk, love," Nick says instead.

"M'not, really." Harry frowns and there's the face Nick was looking for.

"Okay, you're not."

"Niiiiick," she says again.

"Harry." 

"Nick," Harry mocks, sticking her tongue out.

"Such a child," Nick says, flopping down on the couch on top of Harry, practically bumping their lips together with the impact. Nick _wants_ , she wants so much, but she's afraid that if she moves first the moment will burst, that even though they're in a stalemate she'll have got it wrong somewhere, have misread something, that earlier was just a fluke.

"M'not," Harry whispers, her breath hot against Nick's cheek. Nick can practically feel Harry frown against her skin.

Nick kisses her softly. "No, love, you're really not."

~

Nick's bedroom is a mess, clothes everywhere and sheets about three days past needing washed. There's a book on the bedside that her producer gave to her for research purposes for some famous she's interviewing sometime next month, but she hasn't bothered to open it yet. She's thought about it almost every night since getting it, thought that sitting it next to the bed she'd pick it up and at least give it a quick flip through if nothing else, but nope. Not even touched it since she sat it there. Harry of course bumps it off with her foot as she pushes Nick onto the bed, flopping on top of her. "Oops, sorry," she mumbles into Nick's neck.

"Thanks for the decor help," Nick mumbles into Harry's hair. It's everywhere, overwhelming, curly and tangled and catching on Nick's fingers as she shoves her hands through it. "Always thought I'd be the one driving in this relationship," she murmurs.

"Feel free to take over," Harry replies, sucking on Nick's neck.

Nick wraps her long legs around Harry, flips them over far more gracefully than she expected herself to, to be honest, sweeping the TV remote and the bra she wore three days ago onto the floor in the process.

Harry jerks and says "ouch," arching her back off the bed with a frown.

Nick reaches under her and also sweeps off a pair of scissors and at least three magazines. 

"Who sleeps with scissors in their bed?"

"Shush. You should try it sometime. It's freeing. All that danger." 

Nick wriggles her hand under Harry's shirt where it's twisted from flipping Harry over.

"It's easier if you just take it off, you know," Harry teases.

"You think everything is easier without clothes."

"Well. You're not wrong. But in this case, I think my way is better." Harry sits up and gently nudges Nick away, and Nick squeaks out a mock offended 'heyyyy.' Harry pulls off her jumper and undershirt in one smooth practiced move,then unhooks her bra and peels herself out of her jeans. Then she's just laying there under Nick, naked. 

Nick swallows. "How is it you can do something sexy like that and then the next minute trip and fall over absolutely nothing?"

"Got loads of talent." Harry sticks her tongue out. It's not that Harry is that uncoordinated, it's just that Nick's noticed it a lot today. Nick's probably been watching Harry a little too much today, for whatever reason. For this reason, to end up here, maybe. They were probably always gonna end up here, Nick thinks.

"Got loads of something, alright," she says, spreading a hand out over Harry's chest, gently, hesitant. She’s not normally cautious with other girls, but this is Harry, and Harry is mostly certainly not like anyone else.

"They're called boobs. You have a set too. You can touch."

"Yours are nicer and I was having a moment," Nick retorts, cupping one, tracing around with her fingertips and watching the way Harry shivers, her eyes widening as Nick brushes around her nipple but doesn't touch it.

"Have it faster."

Nick chuckles. "Someone's desperate, aren't they?"

"Just want you. Have wanted you. For a while." Harry brushes a bit of Nick's hair off her forehead and then gently pulls Nick's face closer.

"You've got me," she whispers, placing a gentle kiss against Harry's lips before quickly wiggling out of her own clothes. The room is cold but she can still feel the heat radiating off of Harry and she wants to get lost in it. She kisses down Harry's chest, teasing a nipple with one hand while sucking gently on the other one. Harry arches her body toward Nick, bringing a hand up to thread into Nick's hair. Nick glances up at her face and grazes her teeth lightly against Harry's skin, and Harry _tugs_ , forcing an unexpected whine out of Nick, which by the sound Harry makes, vibrates against her already sensitive nipple.

“You're beautiful," Nick says, sliding her hands down, and down, and down, until she's resting against Harry, her arm draped over skin cool from exposure. Harry’s already wet, and Nick gently slides the tip of a finger inside her, rubs just a little bit. 

"Nick," Harry moans.

"Yeah, love?" she says, dragging her fingers around Harry's clit, enjoying how Harry jerks every time she brushes against it.

"I've never been with a girl," Harry rushes out as Nick starts to push down a little firmer. It's the fastest she's spoken all night, and Nick is so endeared.

"Good. Like being your first," she says, fingertips pressing hard against Harry's skin, possessive streak rearing its head. Nick knows realistically Harry’s had plenty of experience with guys, that's no secret between them, but this is different. This is _them_. “You nervous, then?"

"Nope," Harry says, sliding a hand down the curve of Nick's back, down over her ass. She lays a gentle smack against Nick as she arches her own body even closer, forcing Nick's finger into her a bit further, and she gasps.

Nick can't get enough of the sound. Her arm is a bit trapped between them now, the angle gone all funny as Harry's gone all demanding, but she keeps at it, thumb circling Harry's clit and one finger resting inside her. Harry's clenching the sheets, her eyes wide and wild but never leaving Nick's face. She barely even blinks. Nick finds it rather unnerving really. 

Harry whimpers and it's a gorgeous sound, her hips stuttering and her grip tightening on Harry's hip. Nick can feel her pulsing around her finger as she continues to slowly slide in and out of her. When she adds another finger, Harry pushes her hips forward only a few more times before she's coming, her sounds muffled as she presses her face against Nick's chest.

Once Harry relaxes a bit, Nick sits back and fingers herself, eyes fixed on Harry the whole time. She’s staring at Nick, smug and satisfied, panting a little as her eyes droop until she blinks them open again and focuses on Nick's face. Her hair is a mess, tangled curls fanning out on the pillow around her head and her eyes are bright, the green of them still visible in the dim light of Nick’s room. Neither of them move for a bit, and the only sound around is breathing, slowing down as the minutes tick by.

"You called this a relationship," Harry says into the quiet, throwing Nick that lopsided grin that Nick's figured out Harry reserves only for her.

"Oh I'm sorry, were you just looking for a one night stand? You didn't fill out the application so I didn't know what I was in for, really."

"I think I'd like that," Harry says softly.

"A one-night stand? Or an application?" Nick says, joking a bit but still apprehensive. Everything already feels so different, while it also feels like nothing has changed between them. It's a very strange thing.

"I think I've already had enough one night stands to last a lifetime, honestly."

“Wild popstar life,” Nick mumbles, secretly sighing in relief. She can do this. "That many, huh? Need to empty out your Rolodex?"

"What's a Rolodex?" Harry says, deadpan.

"Oh for god's sakes, like I don't get enough 'you're too old for her' jokes from Aimee and Gellz anyway."

"Awww, they joke about us?"

" _Everyone_ jokes about you, Styles, have you seen your face?" Harry lightly punches her in the arm. "Hey, no punches!"

Nick straightens out the blankets around them, draping them for the evening since she’s sure neither of them are getting up anytime soon. "So hypothetically, how does this relationship work? Don't you go back on tour soon or summat? Always flying off to different corners of the world, difficult life of a popstar and all."

Harry's quiet for longer than Nick is expecting, and Nick can practically feel the weight of the question dangling there over them, pushing down and demanding to be answered. "I guess I don't really know."

"Well." Nick doesn't want to push, except for how she absolutely wants to push. It's not that she wants to be in a relationship with a super famous popstar, not that she wants her relationship the subject of the papers every third day, not that she wants god only knows what other kind of issues come with dating one fifth of the biggest girl band of pretty much all time, except for how she absolutely wants everything that comes with being in a relationship with Harry Styles, the good and the bad, if it means she has Harry Styles.

"I want to try, Nick. Can we try?"

"Yeah, love, course we can try."


End file.
